yes.

Tonight I’m making a decision. Tonight I’m saying one word upward. Tonight I’m moving forward with this word lifting from my lips up, up, up. To the king of Kings! To the one who made me, saved me and changed me; to the one true God Almighty before whom the saints and angels bow, the beasts covered in eyes watch, the glass sea reflects  and the twenty four elders bend their necks; to the first and last, the One beyond time itself! To my best friend who has promised to be with me to the end I say:

Yes. Yes. Yes!

When he says go I say yes. To the nations I will go. To make disciples, raise the dead, heal the sick, and preach the gospel I was born! I say yes to saying farewell. Leaving those I love to find those I don’t know, trading life long friendships for strange food and difficult languages: I say yes. When he says follow me, I say yes. Where his footprints are, I place mine. Stride for stride, pushed by the wind of the Spirit and led by the whispers of Christ, I go!

When he says stay, I say yes. To stillness. To the quiet worship, the beautiful wilderness of devotion and preparation: I say yes. Yes Jesus, yes! To sit as Mary at his feet and gaze upwards until our eyes meet, oh the bewildering joy. When all my distractions and frantic actions are meaningless transactions and my thoughts are finally subdued, when my friends leave for exciting missions trips doing the very things my lips have spoken of, the very things that I love, to stay with my King and lover is enough!

When he says stay, how could I betray him and move outside his perfect way? No, I say yes!

When the way grows narrow and my faith feels shallow, when he seems to have nothing to say and his whispers seem to fade before I can make out which way I must turn, even then I say yes. When the mist swings its shifty fists and I wish with all my might that the Son would rise again, will I then say no? Will I refuse to let him use the days of uncertainty to deepen my faith and love? Will I reject his plan simply because I cannot understand? No! Before the word is spoken my answer will be decided: I say yes!

I will say yes when they ask me to confess my foolishness. When my closest friends shake their heads and mutter under their breath. When they spread lies and attack my character before my eyes and behind my back. When they question my stability and leadership ability and call me naive and misguided and self centered and close minded and deranged, my answer to my King will not have changed. When He asks me to testify to the ones who crucify, I will say yes. When he asks me to stand before the jury and silently take their fury. I will say yes!

If the cross is strapped to my back, I will still say yes! If the wood digs into my skin, splintering its shards into my ripped flesh, if the nails are driven into my palms and the blood runs like rivers, if I must die to follow Christ, I say yes!

For my King did no less for me. He said yes to the ridicule, hatred, misunderstanding, betrayal, and thorns! He traded perfection for destruction. He said for that he was born. He wasn’t afraid of being uncomfortable. He wasn’t afraid of what men said. He looked into their eyes and said forgive them! He had a choice in the desert, in the temple, and in the garden. He knew his Fathers plan was best and so he said yes.

I can do no less. I say yes. Dishes and unmopped floors are Christmas gifts, administration is just another demonstration of love. Plane tickets and visa forms, fundraising and waiting in faith, it’s all the same! A nine to five or the chance to die my answer doesn’t change. I say yes. Yes and only yes. No “ifs” or “buts” or escape clauses. No strings attached for this choice is one of joy! No is not an option, maybe is out of the question. Yes is all I have left. For I trust my Fathers way. He has never left me. He has never disappointed. To be close to him is all I crave. To the grave and beyond I say yes. Tonight I’ve decided once again. I’ve counted the cost and found I’ve nothing that could be lost that isn’t in Christ. To him I say:

Yes.